One Small Drop

 

His blue eyes were like a bright summer sky in the middle of the day when my grandpa would say the crops will grow dry because there’s no sight of rain. When he smiled, a small wrinkle embraced the right corner of his mouth and I could see him getting older. He would stare so deeply in my soul he’d leave me exposed. He knew me better than anyone.

He was my lover.

And I will never forget the day I lost him.

 

As she finished reading her essay in front of the group, a tear rolled down her cheek and fell on the wrinkled paper she was holding. She sat next to me and told me she never wanted to read this in the first place. She wasn’t ready to share her big love story. After the class ended, she came up to my desk and placed a stick on my paper stack. “Read this”, she said, “all of it”.

That was the last time I saw Julie.

 

1^st of April

Today the sky seems to be breaking really bad. I don’t think I’ll go anywhere. It’s another Saturday when my picnic is completely ruined by the sudden rain. My dog is really upset, she wanted to go play in the puddles but I can’t allow her to get sick again.

I’ve decided to read what Julie has left on my desk. After she read her journal page that day, she never went home. Her mom called the police the next day and they haven’t found her to this day. I always wondered what had happened to her. I’m still afraid to read what she wrote, I’m afraid she’s gone and that it is my fault – I made her read that day.

 

3^rd of April

I’m still reading. She wrote some sort of a science-fiction novel and it starts with the last fragment she has read in class: “He knew me better than anyone. He was my lover. And I will never forget the day I lost him”.

I’ve decided to pay a visit to her mom today. I wonder who this “he” was.

 

8^th of April

She wrote something about a house on another planet she has visited with “him”. I don’t understand this; it feels like she was mentally ill, mostly because her mom didn’t know anything about a boy in her life. And I had to go to the police and tell them I think she had a boyfriend her mother didn’t know about. I missed a few classes because I had to tell the policemen over and over again how she read that in class and how she gave me this novel she wrote and told me to read it.

I had saved a copy before they held the original as “evidence” and they still call to ask why I hadn’t said anything. Tomorrow its three months since the day she had disappeared – the 9^th of February. One day before my birthday. I have underlined so many words and phrases and I still can’t figure out where she’s gone.

 

9^th of May

They still haven’t found her. I still can’t figure out who “he” was. The police is giving up on the case, they’ve told her mother that Julie’s old enough to decide if she leaves and maybe she really wanted to leave home and never look back.

There’s no trace of her and people seem to have forgotten. I can’t focus in class, not when I remember her tear dropping and her eyes staring straight into mine and saying: “read this”. These two words haunt me. I can’t sleep.

 

12^th of May

I’m starting to think she wasn’t mad. What if she was dating an alien and he took her with him? What if he used to pick her up from school and that specific day he took her to his place and never came back?

But she said she had lost him. That means he’s dead. Or maybe they just broke up and he kidnapped her and killed her. Oh, God, why does this bother me so much!

He had blue eyes and he was older. Maybe there’s something on her social media about him… Maybe she posted pictures.

 

17^th of May

She only has pictures with her food online. No tags, no nothing. And she stopped posting online a month before she vanished into thin air. I don’t get it and it stresses me out.

It’s a beautiful Sunday today and I’ll take my dog out for that picnic. I feel like I’ve completely forgot about my life trying to figure out where she went.

2^nd of June

They’ve found her journal. No one told me where, but she had some stories she had in that book she gave me in her journal and they’ve brought me in and asked me to read it.

His name was Mark. They’ve met in the park she disappeared from, it seems. Her last entry was after my class. She had written angrily that she hated me for publicly humiliating her and that she wants to vanish and never have to face her classmates again; that they’ve never believed her anyway.

She lost her Mark on the 9^th of January. Some detectives have decided to reopen the case as it’s an intriguing one. I’ve decided to work as a consultant with them as I’m the one person that almost knows Julie’s novel by heart. She wrote in her journal that he died in a stupid accident and that she wanted to die in the same way so she could be with him. Could she be dead now?

 

10^th of June

They’ve found a body in Julie’s backyard: male, probably white, but they can’t figure it out from his DNA. They’ve said he doesn’t seem to be human, which is really weird. Her mom is in shock; they’ve had to sedate her and place her into a facility to be taken care of by professionals. I really think that this body they’ve found is Mark’s. I think Julie had no idea how to deal with his death and she just buried him in the backyard so she could be close to him.

I still think she was mentally ill.

 

25^th of June

I’ve just realized my plants are dead. I forgot to water them; I can’t remember the last time I did. Anyway, I am going to meet with John, one of the detectives today. He wanted us grab a cup of coffee but I just don’t see how I can have romance in my life right now.

 

29^th of June

I think someone’s been following me. I feel a shadow over my shoulder when I go to school or to the station and I know that someone’s peeking through the window when I’m teaching on the first floor. I’ve told John about it and he insisted to stay over and sleep in my living room, to make sure I’m safe.

He’s drinking a tea in the kitchen right now. My dog seems to love him, but I still feel like I can’t move on with my life. I wish we could find her or her body at least. Who would leave like that… without not even saying goodbye to her mother?

 

4^th of July

Today is a day of celebration. After this whole time I think I can slowly accept that she’s gone and I can’t do anything about it. I’ve read that book; nothing has changed, I can’t find any clues. Maybe she was indeed leaving Earth for another planet. Or maybe she had it with life. Or maybe she wanted to torture me before she skipped town.

I feel like I’ll never know, but at least I’ve met John.

 

9^th of July

My stalker’s back and I could swear its Julie. Someone sneaked into my office and ravished it. John says they were looking for something. Could that something be her book? He started sleeping in my living room again and I no longer feel safe alone.

It’s the middle of the day and I’m scared to be alone in my own kitchen. John went out to get coffee and to walk the dog and I’ve never felt more insecure in my life. I feel like at any point, someone could attack me and I can do nothing about it. I feel like two eyes are always watching over me from the shadows.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear John,

Thank you for bringing her coffee, but she won’t need it where we’re going. You might want to read her journal entries; she knew I was stalking her and you did nothing, detective. Today it’s my six months anniversary, but you know that.

We’re leaving to be with Mark. That guy you’ve dug up is the guy who killed Mark, by the way. His name is Twais Konpeir, he lives on that planet I’ve mentioned so many times in my novel and my journal. That planet your lover never assumed was real. I’m taking her there today and you shall never find her like you never found me.

Please take care of that old dog, but not like you took care of her. Imagine this: one second she’s here, the other she’s gone. Now you’ll know how I feel and maybe you’ll find me. Or maybe you’ll just move on with your life in six months.

Anyway, as I’m writing this, my people are taking her away. Tell mom I said hi and that I never intended to leave her for good or for not saying good bye. It was just the right moment for me to go, as it’s the right moment for my teacher to go now. She’s not saying good bye either.

Until we meet again,

Julie.